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Just when you thought your suburb was hipster enough.

7 trends we forecast to ramp up in 2017.

Raw Macrobiotic Sea Salt? OK, hipsters. OK.

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Source: Van Vuuren Bros

Last year we had some good ‘uns: we had Beyonce and Hillary to thank for the ingenious invention that is hot sauce in the bag, and even though Bernard Salt wasn’t a fan, we had smashed avo for the reasonable price of a small car. So what are the hot hipster trends of 2017?

There’s the obvious ones: Bon Iver, veganism (yes, still), raw macrobiotic salt (definable only by its price tag), superfoods (still confused on where celery sits on this scale), health foods in powder form (sold in exclusive health food stores and TVSN) and cold pressed everything, but we wanted MORE so had our team search beyond the Bondi hipsters. 

Today, we take you beyond the vinyl section at Urban Outfitters (sorry Drake) to unearth the real trends of 2017.

1. Dairy is the new gluten

Gluten has long been the evil super power, but now look out, there’s a new axis of evil: dairy. As the hipster masses rush to Harris Farm to clean them out of CoYo, cafes around these hipster-filled suburbs are serving almond milk (a liquid with a consistency similar to water and a taste like cardboard). So, forget queuing for a lifetime at Gelato Messina unless you’re going for the sorbet.

2. Stripes on stripes

Avalon Now might have made a mockery of the unofficial hipster shirt (not funny guys) and doctors’ offices all across the nation might be adopting the Breton stripe as their front of house uniform, but it’s time to go bigger and better in 2017. Think stripes on stripes on stripes. Clash to match and #ReclaimTheStripes.

3. Robe lyfe 2.0

Look out punters, we’ve gone beyond robe lyfe and taken it to the streets. This year is the year of the ‘walking shoe’ (No word of a lie, this phrase was coined by French Fashion House Balenciaga). Among their many incarnations, are THOSE loafers. You know, the ones made out of horse hair that every blogger wears but we have no idea how they can afford them. Walk on.

4. Smugglers Cover 

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water: d**k togs, they’re coming back. But if we’re honest with ourselves, the real question is, did they ever really leave? If Sunday mornings at North Bondi are anything to judge by, they’re already here. Perfect for hipster parents wanting to show off the Dad bod.  

5. Keep growing that beard

Commit, or quit. This pearler can be applied to so many aspects of life – to the last slice of pizza, to the Sizzler buffet, to the girl you never thought you’d land but somehow did.

None, though, are more fitting for this article than the growing of the beard. Don’t listen to what anyone tells you: size does matter and bigger, well and truly, is better.

A beard is handy to avoid starvation (it’s a great retainer of left overs). This trend, it’s all about using your powers for good: the guys at non-profit charity Beard Season turn beards into life-saving conversation starters, encouraging all who ask to get a #BeardSeasonSkinCheck.

6. Elitism

This is an attitude more than a state of mind and can be applied to anything from coffee to relationships to downward dog.

Ed’s note: yes, we know about these shoes, but decline to comment.

7. Fitspo communities

Go sweat it out at yoga, lap the soft sand, hit the gym - if for no other reason than being able to wear your activewear. The name of this new trend? Utilitarianism. Don't forget to post on Insta. 

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