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Chuck a sickie on Friday

27 excuses for Australia Day recovery time

Throw another shrimp on the Barbie: Australia Day this year falls on a Thursday and that means only one thing: a four-day weekend for the 200,000 who are tipped to call in sick this Friday.

Sure, News Corp estimates this mass sickie will cost Aussie businesses more than $62 million, but the real question is: what will your excuse be this year?

We took an office poll and here’s the best of the bunch. (Yeah, you’re welcome).

Need an excuse? We’ve got plenty.

1. You forgot to say “gluten free” and you’re now on death’s door.

2. Nausea. 

3. Flu. Rapid onset of. 

4. Vitamin D deficiency / you had to work on your tan.

5. Your phone died.

6. Gastro.

7. Migraine. 

8. “Something’s just come up.”

9. A break up. Because no one wants to be around someone who cries.

10. A really (really) good Tinder date. Going for 16 hours and counting.

11. Rejection from a Tinder date.

12. Or, just still waiting for that reply.

13. You had to go to Grandma’s house. 

14. You’ve been held hostage.

15. It was legs day at the gym.

16. A flat battery. Uber, what? 

17. You drunk dialed.

18. Traffic.

19. You’ve been arrested.

20. You’ve taken a vow of silence.

21. Blame your Uber driver (but make sure you end up at some exotic, faraway location).

22. The surf is up.

23. Your mum. (This, weirdly, works.)

24. You thought it was Saturday.

25. There was a monkey involved.

26. You got distracted.

27. Hangover. Because no one really quite knows what to say when you’re being honest.

We all need to take a cue from the king of sickies.

Want more? Explore.